Success is in the eye of the beholder

I find a funny irony to hearing someone who is healthy, with a large family and with out many worries talk about how they wish they were successful.  HUH? So, having a family and a beautiful marriage isn’t success?  What do we really look at? What makes us FEEL successful?

Love yourself? Really?

Why don’t we put any measure on how to balance self-confidence and humility. I think simply figuring out how to love yourself without becoming narcissistic is a great success. I mean look at how difficult that is for many of us, or how long it takes us to love our skin. When I see a young person feel good about themselves, not caring about the world’s standards and living out loud with an unashamed faith all I see is success.  Just as it is a success when you love yourself enough to accept your faults, and challenge yourself to be better without beating yourself up. 

Appearances? Really?

What about success do we define by our appearances?  Why?  I have met people who are wealthy enough, well-dressed enough and some of them are considered the upper class, but they seem dysfunctional, and self-destructive on the same average as the guy on the street.  I think there is a great deal of self-worth issues in this country.  That doesn’t seem to change how we see them – they are still successful – regardless if they are in rehab every other year or in jail for some criminal act. As a society, we still see a successful job title.

The title? Sad?

Does the title we have define us? I have had many opportunities I am thankful for, and in some of those opportunities I worked with brilliant minds, fantastic people and hugely wealthy people.  Interesting thing is that I was always too star struck to care what my title was while I worked with them.  Maybe I was just too naive as they all claimed, but in all my experiences I never thought less of myself because of my title. Likewise having had lofty titles have never made me feel better about my worth. So, why would we pretend that it’s a measure of success?

Life well lived

My success is honestly measured by living well with others.  Playing well with those around me and teaching my children to be good citizens.  *Important side note here: my children becoming their own people is not a measurement of me, but their responsibility.

I think having friends who respect me even if we disagree is a great measure of success in life. However, I have to say that success is ultimately in each persons point of view of where they were and where they want to go. Have you arrived?  Does being successful mean finishing?  I hope not, I hope that finding success is like getting on the train but the joy is in never screaming to get off, but learning how to stay positive, adapting and dreaming forward regardless of where the tracks take us.

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